Please Listen

When I ask you to listen-
And you start giving me advice
You have not done what I’ve asked

When I ask you to listen-
And you tell me I shouldn’t feel this way
You have trampled on my feelings

When I ask you to listen-
And you have a need to solve my problems-
My only opportunity for personal growth
You have failed me-strange, as that may seem
I am not helpless-maybe discouraged
But not helpless

When you do something for me
That I can do for myself
You can contribute to my fear and self-doubt
If you listen-I, too, can hear what I am saying

When you accept what I feel-
No matter how irrational-only then
Can I to tell you ‘why’ I feel the way I feel

Perhaps that’s why prayer works
Because God always listens-
He doesn’t give advice-He just listens

So-please just listen
And if you need to talk-wait your turn
And I, too, will listen!

By: Rita Benacquista-Stillo

Listening

God gave me the gift of "listening". Through me, He ministers to people, just by my being willing to actively listen to them. Most people don't need or want advice, they just need someone to hear them as they work through their own situations. When I start giving advice, I get in their way.
I love Marcia Willett's books. They are not "Christian" but they get to the heart of people. She seems to have lots of understanding of the human condition.
In Second Time Around, she gives a great description of what we all want from a listener!
She wondered why she never found his questions intrusive; perhaps it was because she felt that he really cared about her. When Will listened she felt that he really heard what she was saying. He thought about it and genuinely entered into her fears and ideas. So many friends listened with half an ear, her problems merely striking a chord in their own breasts so that, when she'd finished, their response was invariably, 'Oh, I know exactly what you mean. When I was. . .' and she knew that they weren't really interested in helping her but had been waiting for the opportunity to tell their own story. Or, 'I know just how you feel.' Whilst she was grateful at this attempt to sympathise she had an urge to scream, 'No you don't! How I feel is unique to me. Please respect it. Try to understand me.' Even worse was the flat, 'Tell me about it,' which Isobel always saw as a put down; as a 'I've been through all that and far worse than you could be suffering it. You can't tell me anything about pain. . . or loss. . . or loneliness. . . or being broke . . . ' or whatever it was that she had been about to communicate. 'Tell me about it' always shut her up at once. She had a fear that her own problems had been brought about by her own selfishness and that she really had no right to sympathy. To have Will to talk to was a tremendous luxury.
Only, having someone to talk to shouldn't be a luxury. It should what everyone has.
"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them."  Ralph Nichols
"One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who takes the trouble to listen to us as we consider a problem, can change our whole outlook on the world."  Dr. E. H. Mayo
So, when someone you love comes by next, remember that to listen is an act of love.

Sorrow

Our little congregation had three deaths. Three funerals, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Three lovely,
beloved ladies have gone to be with God. And left us shell-shocked. Our faith keeps us afloat. Our faith makes these losses bearable. I believe they will have eternal life with our Father. Their families are stunned, too soon to be grief-stricken, but that will come. The emptiness of the days ahead. Those times, innumerable, of wanting to SEE that beloved face, to HEAR that beloved voice.
I hope I can use this time of reality to see what is important. Not necessarily urgent. But important. What things do I need/want to do for those I love? And that includes God. Where am I wasting time that could be used for those? I cannot be all things to all people but God has put specific people in my life--my husband, my children, my brother are all in the house with me. There are others God has put in my life, on purpose. There is a definite limit to how many I can minister to, so I'm sure God knows that limit--but do I? And am doing the best for that limited few? Am I spreading myself too thin? Am I underestimating how many?
I thought there was more time. I didn't spend the time I wanted and now it is too late. MY loss, not theirs. But regrets.
Can I do better?

Sweet poem to think about

Build a little fence of trust

Build a little fence of trust
... around today

Fill the space with loving deeds
and therein stay.

Look not through the sheltering bars
upon tomorrow

God will help thee bear
what comes of joy or sorrow

Something new I'm learning

Jewelry Making

It's fun. I'm learning. Wanna see??

April

We have had such a marvelously wet winter and then early warm that my roses think it is May already! Last summer was so terribly hot and dry that everything seems especially beautiful.