One year later

We are into the final two months. One year ago, this week, my little Mama entered the hospital--never to go home again. Instead she went Home to be with God. It has been a hard year. And this has been a hard week. I find it difficult to reach out to others to share my pain and sorrow. I find it difficult to write anything--emails, notes, whatever.
We have friends who are now going through their own pre-losses--parents with Alzheimer's, broken hips, emphysema, so many things go wrong as we age. My dearest friend from high school (BF, doncha know?) is taking leave of one of her brothers. He is young, only 60, but with cancer. This friend has already lost both her parents. Life is so difficult at times. She is accepting of this loss but I know she is sad and will be sad for a long time to come.
I have given myself a year of mourning. A year when I would not expect too much of myself. What will it be like when the year is over? I don't know. I do hope I will be able to do more for others. To be able to take on new tasks. I overwhelm fairly easily right now. Like trying to swim but being unable to tow anything or anyone else. Perhaps my strength will return.